There's a Cowboys game and a Rangers game on at the same time...talk about Sophie's choice
Sharon took in a random bleeding stranger drunker than her, named her Nicole, and is feeding her jello shots on the toilet
He looks like the kind of guy that would jack off to weird things.
How do you set tits on fire ? I swear her tits were on fire.
Thanks for pulling me out of the bed by my feet atleast one of us was sober enough to know I had work at 5 am.
You were a path of destruction, you started with eating half the cake, proceeded by throwing the rest in the sink and dumping water all over it while laughing... then throwing the drunk helmet across the room yelling that you didnt want to wear it... i'd say it was a successful birthday.
My ex wife just asked to go over our divorce papers and for sex in the same text
just got caught singing "pop that pussy" by a very old man at work. *face palm*
I would rather you cheat on me then you watch this season of Breaking Bad without me.
Dude, you were tagged in a stripper FB selfie. That is a whole new level of something.....
He said he wanted to sit next to the fountain so he could "watch the water hit the other water".
I don't think stranger penis made your tonsils bleed
Dipping my sugar cookies in a glass of fireball and creme soda. This is holiday spirit
you would have been so proud of how classy i just looked at the pharmacy with my $10 off plan b coupon. so resourceful.
I wanted to make my beer stronger so I poured vodka in it. Why god....why
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