hey im gonna send you a picture of my dinner
if its a picture of your dick again we are no longer friends
she had the hairiest bush ive ever seen. it looked like a spoiled head of lettuce.
Those 2 guys from the sonic commercial will be virgins for life.
you thought you were invisible so you started narrating your actions.
In the middle of fucking me, she said "Hold on, I need my Hulk hands."
Duuuude - Drag Queen Bingo wasn't supposed to end like thissss
I need to do something profound in the next three and a half years so that when my kids ask what I did in my twenties I have something to say other than "made bad decisions"
I don't care how stoned you are, I'm not driving to a different state for a burrito
I try not to have friends with attractive fathers, it only brings my morals down.
Lets think Pancakes and sausages into existence
The house hit rave levels when La Bamba came on which confuses me because I live in white suburban Canada
PARA BAILAR LA BAMBA ASSHOLES
AND HOLY SHIT FLUBBER IS ON NETFLIX
She pinched my nipples too hard I THINK THEYRE GONE
I TOLD YOU ABOUT GOTH CHICKS BRO. I WARNED YOU
Puking out the window is really hard when you're the one driving.
well that was a fail
maybe for you, but i got a free ice cube in my bra
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