Free body shot off of Sarah. Expires never.
i'm laying naked in your bed you should probably come home
move.
Woke up in a different state, wearing only a bk crown. My boxers are in a tree and I think I went to the hospital last night.....
I told you not to do acid with the girl who works the late shift at 7-11
Nothing like throwing up 1/2 price appatizers and 2 4 1 personal pitcher in uniform to remind myself what a succesful failure I am
Well, I just watched him puke into his pitcher at the bar, I doubt he cares about anything other than the fact that he needs a new beer.
We have been pregaming the shutdown of the government since Tuesday. Send help, and some more liquor.
Yeah I fingered her in the crowd and the dj saw it and gave me props over the speakers. I got so many high fives.
The doctor that gave me my std test is trying to hook me up with her daughter lol
I have a better chance beating China's military with slap bracelets than this plan has of working.
Dude. I've been high for so many hours now that I'm just accepting this as my new reality.
In other news, I just sent her a video of me masturbating while driving in the rain, so I guess you could say I've mastered Snapchat
Broke my ankle and blacked out on my scooter last night. 'Twas grand.
Refresh my memory....were we forced to leave or did we choose to leave?
I can guarantee he will smoke me out and I won't feel bad about it because he gets to touch my butt.
Sorry for trying to wake you up by slapping your ass with a fruit 2 go.
Randomize
