Btw I've read that book you bought me...And I'm such a bitch now
But I don't think guys love me
After last night I still want u
But please keep that on the DL
remember when jerking off was fun and not a neccesity
Don't tits with veins remind you of road maps?
I just took a bite of a bagel at school and it tasted like weed. If I am high for my test in 2 hours I'm gonna kick someones ass
i think you know its gunna be a bad day when it starts with throwing up into a red plastic cup
Yeah well margarita Wednesday already came twice this week and it's just now Wednesday
wearing my roomate's scarf as a dress...halloween 2011 ladies and gentlemen
But you can still look for dick after you find Jesus.
Fuck my life, there's a fry in my vagina.
Oh please not the Easy Cheese again. That was weird.
He said he wanted to start giving out "sex souvenirs". I got a poster with a penguin on it.
You fell out of the chair and then lifted your foot saying, "If my foot could give you the middle finger it would."
I just realized I haven't got laid since the last time the Browns won.
He yelled "CARLI LLOYD" and then kicked the cake off the table. Soccer is making monsters out of us.
Randomize
