Why are you at a bar in Connecticut?
Long story. One that now involves lots of delicious chicken wings om nom nom
that was a gay-test. you passed.
with flying rainbow colors i hope!
Obama just said the words "we're all in this together." I wanted to start singing high school musical
i knew he was a douchebag when his facebook activities were "ladeis," and "gettin crunk wit ladeis"
Well i just learned hong kong is a country...thank you olympics
When we started taking double shots of vodka and chasing it with a lick of fruit roll-ups, I knew there'd be hell to pay in the morning.
It was honestly the most delicious alcohol I've ever drank, plus the added risk of going blind from methanol poisoning really enhanced the experience.
Guess who just screamed "Everything happens for a reason!!" in the abortion clinic. This girl.
He said you stopped mid-fuck, called fives on his dick, walked out to grab another drink, and came back.
Dude, she got on top of me, grumbled in a low voice "I'm going to make you remember me", and then farted.
The only thing I had in my freezer before today was patron and cheese.
I started a USA chant at the bar last night for no reason, other than being plastered. Within 15 seconds, I was standing on a table and the whole bar was chanting but nobody knew why.
All I can think about are the cheese it's on my desk at work this morning. Like are those apologetic cheese it's or does he seriously think he still has a shot..
You just accidentally called me. You kept saying "Really?! Really?!!" So I can only assume you are having sub par sex
Do you ever wake up and realize playing beer pong with your parents wasnt a dream? Your mom really beat you
Randomize
