I think scott just propositioned me for sex
i just puked in front of my entire floor a girl on crutches asked iof i needed help hahaaa fuck ima damn fool
Hows this for an invention: a toilet that weighs your poop
I won't be sarcastic... just naked
Just come back with most of your limbs...and your dick. Please and thank you
Give me one reason I shouldn't put the phrase "sex emotions" into my essay.
No.
hooked up with the gay kid & his friend's mom told me "you know he has a identical twin brother whose straight, right?"
He threw up the X he took like 30min before then when we thought his antics were over... BOOM! He tried to pee out a light he was holding.
I am wearing two different shoes and just swallowed my gum. Wake the fuck up and bang the bartender already.
I haven't even sucked a boob is 6 weeks I hate not college
Playing Cards Against Humanity with my relatives at Christmas while I'm stoned was a bad idea...
I used an explanation of Walking Marriages in the Mosuo Culture to successfully negotiate an open relationship. That Anthropology degree is finally starting to pay off.
Chili is not acceptable fuck buddy food.
let me wake up, find my pants, and find out where i am tommorow and ill get back to you on that
The cop was standing next to me when I texted "haha" to your phone...didn't realize that he had taken it already...
Randomize