she gave me one of her senior pics and told me specifically to give it to you. In other words she still wants to suck your dick.
Mental note: adding peach schnapps to a gin and tonic does not "water it down."
I'm now in all their contact lists as "Pee-Pee Hands"...
since you saved your number in my phone as "the hot chick you met last Friday" I don't know who you are either
And then I passed out in my towel and was woken up by my roommate introducing me to her trick for the night.
Remind me to switch to jello when you decide to do shots off my ass. It's so much easier to clean than this pudding.
I'm about to do the walk of shame in a christmas onesie. What would I do without christmas sweater party season?
Was just walking through the park by the river. Saw some random in a tree, we climbed up, blazed with him and bought a bag. In the tree. Real shit.
He texted back and said he would hook up if he didn't have a test at 8am. It's really hard to be annoyed by how good of a student he is.
Yeah that sucks. That's why I stick to deadbeat sports management majors.
So me and him are making out, and the other two are on the couch behind us. he randomly stops kissing me and goes "oh god I think she just took off her shirt" I look behind me and I see her tits flapping up and down. This man has amazing senses..
i know i saw many looks of jealousy when i walked solo into subway carrying a cheesy gordida crunch after taco bell closing hours
I'm sure for most of the people, it was the one and only miracle they will see
Sure go ahead and start this 'business' with him...just don't come crying to me when you have to fake your own death in two years
I offered the opportunity to grope my boobs for pints. Two girls took me up.
I have put on lipstick and signed up for class. Nothing more shall be expected of me today.
I am NOT losing my v-card to a guy who doesn't know my ass from my elbow.
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