If I see one more duchette wearing Ed Hardy, but not actually having a real tattoo. I swear Im gonna shank a bitch.
hows the new call of duty?
I only had sex with the game case so far, but that part was awesome.
can we please take bets on how much therapy you'll need in the future?
Missing a small section of hand. Hope your night is going better
Lesbian chick is doing her presentation on the time she woke up on the dockside still drunk at 7 am. This is why I show up to chinese class.
Hey that girl we tagged team last night invited me to her birthday on Facebook, remind me to be sick that day.
I think ill wear my dads dashiki but make it sluttier. We shall see
Bathtub guy came to. He helped me roll the fat chick away from the fridge. Shower and breakfast are on. You're plan failed!
No, no, we have to calibrate. What is the maximum amount of trouble we can get into without going to jail?
Jake bring pizza.
JAKE BRING PIZZA.
Vaguely remember? You pushed George and two other fellas out the way to hug me, screamed gandalf before chugging your beer and smashing the bottle on the floor. I lolled.
It's 4am & this guy is asleep with his junk still inside me..really rethinking my life
Stacy was in the bathroom puking, so he peed out the window. We were eight stories up.
Its really hard to take a shit when the dog wont stop trying to crawl into your lap
Just saw 4 of my students at Denny's at 4am on a Tuesday. We all pretended not to see each other, as we are all clearly tipsy and/or stoned. Class is in less than 4 hours. Either i'm getting too old for this shit or they're starting on the road to crazy-town much earlier these days.
Randomize
