YEA!!! I'll throw you a non-baby shower.
I'd rather watch my mom take a shit while reading the sunday new york times than watch mama mia .
update. expensive tequila only makes the mistakes more expensive.
Just hooked up on shake weight girl's dad's porsche. What are YOU doing with your life?
Can you pinpoint the moment you decided it was acceptable to trade blow jobs for beers or was it a gradual slide?
The woman at the bus stop told me i smell delicious and asked if i wear cotton then proceeded to tell me about her shellfish allergy
Tell me right now I did the right thing by not fucking my sick gf at 3 am with her family home... Tell me my balls hurt for noble reasons.
I flossed his teeth and then we had sex in the bathroom. It just seemed like a good idea.
I even got my dealer to make gluten free special cookies ;-)
Dude the little bong I just got fits nicely in the cup holder in my car. The gods approve of my habits.
i mean hes a break dancing puerto rican, how do you think the sex was?
We set around a table in a hotel room and he spoon fed Molly to everyone there... I felt sketch for sec but then... Oh well.
I'm hammerd and his penis is still the size of a giraffe's neck
you said, "I wonder what your mum is doing right now." in the middle of sex, of course I threw up on you.
Guuuuurrrrrl! He ate the 🌮like it contained the Covid-19 vaccine!
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