I drank enough to make her look pretty . . It worked and i threw up while going at it
I dont know whether to be proud of myself for not driving, or being proud that i was so messed up I couldnt drive
true best friends attempt to put quarters in each others butts. Thanks for the best birthday ever!
just found a beer in my hamper. even my laundry is a dirty alcoholic.
There is still throw up in my sink from before break. God I missed this place
I think the puke all over the side of my car actually improves its appearance.
My nipple rings set off the metal detector at the courthouse this morning.
I am literally the only girl who can black out and wake up pantsless and STILL be 99% sure I didn't get any.
Hey.. there are 2 people i've never met before spooning in the bathtub. Please elaborate on what went down last night.
We're having chugging races with long island ice tea, I won. To often
Still not sure if my open-bar-week-long-trip to Cuba is the best idea as a congratulations-for-my-sober-february-challenge. My liver might just explode and give up.
My heart stopped for a sec, but I snorted what I believe was cocaine off the floor, and I'm back in the fight
You know you went through something intense when you actuallu applaud yourself for not shitting your pants
leads to pukin, then cryin, then 24hr masturbatin binge, then cryin again and finally a combination of all 3
I want you
Nvm, now I want someone who replies to my booty-call texts faster
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