Swine flu. Run for my life!
We're going on a mission for new porn. And ice cream.
Well his aunt was in the next room so we had to be quiet. I felt like i was on an episode of silent library.
i love beer. I convinced myself that I'm going to ace the exam tomorrow. I can't even do that when I actually study.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i've decided that sluts are like cars. they may look good as hell on the outside, but you never know what kind of shit is hiding under the hood.
It's like a booty call, except its for tacos...and you're my brother.
He broke into my house just to tell me the door was locked.
The only thing that got me through this hellish day was imagining a large Swedish penis inside of me.
What did your vagina DO during the nhl lockout?!
Americans.
He fucked me while wearing his night time breathing machine mask. Does this mean I joined the dark side and he is Darth Vader?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I want you to remember that you started masturbating in front of a car full of people. That drunk.
It wasn't intentional or anything but I've now had sex with all of your siblings. How's college going?
Just got your voicemail. The 3am call wasn't a drunk dial, it was an I left my phone in my pocket then has wild animalistic sex dial...
I hate you.
You LOVE me.
Sometimes I feel like my vagina has a photographic memory of his penis. It sucks that he got engaged....
His ass is a ten, but his personality is a two. Which would average to a six if I didn't have to figure in apologizing to all and sundry. In short hard no. Get a new wingman.
"Offered to eat Froot Loops out of my belly button" drunk. Thats how drunk.
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