I need to shower the guilt off of my thighs.
I decided that $2 and a kiss on the cheek was a great tip for the pizza girl. No one is REALLY sure how much I've have to drink.
The new google images is a smorgasbord of porn now are plans for tonight are off.
the amount of times i have wished for a boxed wine emoticon is almost alarming. almosttt
I fell asleep with all the lights and heat on in the apartment with windows open, Earth Hour is lost on people like me.
he peed on his own floor last night after we left the bar. pretty much sums up how i feel about the evening
i had a threesome. one of the guys used to bully me in high school too for being gay.
Eating a popsicle in the shower was the best idea I've had in ages.
Just got gas in my car for the first time while high. Went better than expected.
SHE GRABBED MY FULLY ERECT DICK IN A BAR AND STUCK HER TONGUE DOWN MY THROAT AND I COULD NOT CLOSE
He fell on top of me at a party. I slept with him a week later. We've been fucking for 2 moths. Most successful relationship ever.
the best part of college is nobody can tell me not to eat six toaster strudels and jerk off in the shower
I'm at her wedding and she managed to get every single one night stand I ever had in her wedding party. Why does she hate me?
ugffhh I have work in 4 hours and have recieved zero sleep, seeing that I'm trapped in the arms of a snoring bear man. can't. breathe. lost in the forestry of his chest hair.
I love you. Doing a double. Going to die. It will be painful. Let the world know i partied. God, did i party.
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