I'm too stoned for this. I'm Canadian.
He just screamed at her, "if you pass out i am still having sex with you!!!" In front of the entire party.
i woke up hungover wearing my gym shorts and the condom from last night. Wine bar thursdays rule.
Need. Hospital. Physically am floating.
The word cocktail makes me want to rip my liver out and nail it to a cross.
If you're still up for that roadtrip, I managed to end up in Louisiana and could use a ride home.
So they found him after the wedding still dressed up in his feather boa and top hat passed out in a bush...
fuck you and your stupid hot as hell face
I hope none of us try to run for public office one day
STAY IN YOUR APARTMENT. DONT GO TO SAFEWAY TO BUY CONDOMS. DONT GO TO THE VAN.
hey u leave my anime porn out of this
Crying while I'm pooping. I think this is rock bottom
I smoked too much. I'm sitting on my balcony and I keep getting lost. Help me
I just wanna go home jackoff, eat chicken fingers, drink beer, play halo and go to bed. I'm sick of this shitty school, the shitty kids and having to fucking teach them.
I guess I’m only into threesomes at Halloween, because I just woke up next to “Marilyn Monroe” and “Joe DiMaggio” in their condo
Randomize
