absolutely 100% incorrect. and i love you more you silk skinned goddess
I wish there was a facebook app that filtered my notifications to show only the ones having to do with people who'll fuck me.
Dude if I didn't piss myself last night I dont think I would have woke up in time for work.
I mean I found and stalk his moms facebook.. that obsessed.
its great to know that you distinguish your relationships on whether you can cum on someone's face
When I stretch out her lips her vagina looks like a dolphin...this birthmark is awesome
you know something has gone wrong in your life when you've gotten a court order to stay away from ALL mc donalds.
she's my drunk super hero.
I'm still not a hundred percent.. I haven't shit anything solid in two days.. I have pulled my puker muscles and I can't take deep breaths cuz of other unidentified muscles/maybe heart attack
The weekend is off to a good start: she just got into a verbal fight with a hobo. Nearly a fist fight.
Go for it! You're young. Have fun. Be somebody's expensive hobby like Anastasia Steele.
Someone needs to lock me in a chastity belt because all my vagina does is get me into trouble. Fuck.
Are you ok?!
I assume I've stopped bleeding because I haven't passed out, but can't verify currently.
I tried to text you about going to the Lion's Den but sent it to my boss. She was down for it. Please advise.
I'm just hoping that with all the times he's puked in my yard a mushroom field might grow.
Leave it to my mom and I to turn the hearing into a drinking game.
Randomize
