Ok let me ask a question, does aderall make women less apt to have sex?
Cause it just destroys penises
Was that inappropriate? I can't gauge these things anymore
Just realized our kids will one day call us old because we were around when texting came about. I'm sad.
did i paint my nails blue or do i need to make a trip to the ER?
He broke into my apartment to check his Facebook again, the beer is all gone, and there's a new high score on pac man.
About to see some guy and give him a glance that tries to express how sorry i am for blowing his friend while he was getting a BJ in the same room
Well, I'm getting my ex-boyfriend to get me a z pack to cure the chlamydia I got from my married fuck buddy so that I can fuck one of my students.
#1- I went to button my shirt only to find they were all mising. #2- I'm so fu@king sore I feel like I was sweating to the oldies all night. #3- this pounding headache I have, I blame solely on Jennifer. Everyone sounds like Billy Mays when they talk. I remember nothing from last night, I'm concerned.
Look on the bright side: Now that I'm sleeping with both the exs it's good bye to drunk sexting the 'wrong one'.
I felt like a responsible adult. A responsible adult that may or may not end up shitfaced. But not heaving purple puke into a urinal like last time because I'm classy now.
I'M TOO HORNY FOR GRAMMAR!!!
Found her grinding on my boss with her tongue down her throat last night. Guess who just got promoted!
i think i passed out for a few seconds while we were having sex but he didnt notice...
Did I penguin dive down a hill last night?
You guys do the cocaine and I'll do the dishes.
I hate when pretentious people talk bad ab corn dogs
Randomize
