I've heard semen is good for your skin though, so that pimple on my chin should clear right up.
I just had to explain to my father, how having two screens plugged into my computer doesn't use more internet.
Just kissed her with a dip in my mouth... She was either too drunk to notice or too cool to care
i wish there was an iPhone app that lets you write a TeXt LiKe tHiS
dude...come out of the closet already
im stripping for him via video chat, but the sound is turned off cause his students are taking a test
I'm relatively certain my chiropractor just judged me for admitting that my back is misaligned from the sex we had last night...
We should invent fake asshair for you to wear so you can experience my pain for a day.
I actually cannot wait for your visit. I miss people who make me look like the virgin mary in comparison.
I just closed two deals on my laptop from my bathroom while smoking a bowl, like a bawssss. Working from home is my favorite.
I was just doing the math on how much beer we need for the houseboat. in doing so, I came to the conclusion that we need to open a beer distributor business.
our jesse-walt dynamic is actualy really perfect because i want to start a small time drug empire and you want to get high a lot its very accurate
We just got busted fucking in the hammock by his roommate...I'm so out of here as soon as hes asleep....
Remember how we use to say "this will be the year I'll get my shit together!" And like we stopped doing that because we know that isn't happening anytime soon.
Our orgasm ration was 1:45. No. Fucking. Joke. I thought I was going to die.
Question: how does one descretely ask the ice cream truck driver thats out at 10:00pm if he sells weed?
Randomize
