yeah, i liked him til i heard he had a sac that could apparently smother my face.
I GOT EATEN OUT IN A MERCEDES ON A TUESDAY NIGHT. I EARNED THIS SHIT.
Speaking of school, I've done the math and I get laid about 10 times more often than I did before I got my law degree. $100,000 well spent.
Worst PDA I've ever seen. She even licked the mustard off his mustach
Well he's not exactly single.. It's like an open relationship his wife doesn't know about
I feel like my lungs want to punch me in the vagina.
is that even a sentence?
Sitting on an airplane reeking of booze, sex and shame while surrounded by families coming home from Disney. This is not one of my finer moments.
But he does seem to be getting proper humping etiquette down. So there's progress.
So on a scale from 1-10 how gross is it that I used mortuary makeup on my own face?
He started french braiding my hair while I was blowing him. The question is not why, but how.
Last night's dream consisted of you, me, a sauce pan full of cocaine and light sabers. I almost cried when I woke up.
At the ER. John needs stiches. Fuck pub trivia nights.
a homeless man let us know that my friend was asleep in the bushes outside my house on main street. So just a small get together.
He was like 120 lbs and 20 of that was penis
We're going to watch the inauguration and fuck. Or fuck and watch the inauguration, I'm not picky, just get your ass over here by ten.
Randomize
