I went to moterboat her and I started laughing, so I just kinda blew on them... I think I'm gona call that move the sailboat.
Yes, I am watching The Hills Have Thighs. And yes it is a porno remake of The Hills Have Eyes. And, again, yes, lesbian sex in the desert. Get the sand out.
Legit screaming match in this bar over the differences between cupcakes and muffins.
First day at work... I clogged up the office toilet on purpose to assert my dominance.
Hu mahhiw im so tired.i just got done. In fo dleepu. Aaaaaaahh. I qisj my mom filmed me. In axtunf so funny
I never thought I would say this but I have to clean queso off my vibrator
He thought he was drowning because he was drinking water and intentionally holding his breath. Dear god what did you get me in to.
Oh and now he's calling me Brohammed Ali.
Listen to me plotting my whoredom.
It was either the harsh truths I was divulging or the liquor..... But either way, I made mom puke
Yesterday was just the icing on the rejection cake that was my week
NOT EVEN KIDDING RIGHT NOW. THE GUY IN THE SPIDERMAN COSTUME JUST FELL OFF THE ROOF INTO A BABY POOL. GET HERE NOW!!
My pants are like a grocery bag containing ONLY jelly beans right now.
Not as much as my roommate, who is in the middle of one of the pictures throwing a lawn chair at a cop car lol.
Also did I tell you guys about the time that I balled for like an hour at a frat and made them play wagon wheel and then cleaned their bathroom
I cannot handle Xanax... I just turned my computer on and I googled how to work YouTube
Randomize
