Running into every girl no one would hook up with here at rick's. Typical.
gavin joseph was born around 1 oclock 9lbs 12oz... over 21 inches long
Thats what she said
so after six weeks of dating she admitted shes bi and asked if it would freak me out if we brought another girl into the bedroom. i said no in this hesitant voice and she said 'if you let me dont worry ill make it up to you'
i literally fucking hate you so fucking much.
I picked her up for our first date on a fucking horse. Of course I got a BJ.
Note to self: Don't teach the naked lap rule in beer pong until after youve made a cup..
chlamydia ends and my period begins. this isnt real life
Even jesus won't love me after tonight. I'm going hard.
Hey he's not bad, although he did have a glass eye
Just pulled a muscle trying to take a naked pic. I think it's time to start working out again.
There is a special place in Hell for whichever one of you put Ben Gay on my dildo. It was a very uncomfortable April 1.
Why isn't there a super hero that comes to the aide of really high kids when they kill their car battery?
As a general rule of thumb, I don't call until the claw marks have healed.
To show us how offended you were you took off the right foot of your pterodactyl suit and proceeded to attack us with it.
Bumble is fuckin insane here. I'm going to break a hip.
Did you happen to find the other half of my bra last night?
Randomize
