ive never been so in love with another man before, in a totally none sexual way... no homo
R you on birth control?
No, why?
...no reason
Did I ever tell you that the first person i made out with cried?
HELP! I am trapped in a douchebag ad... full of Affliction and Ed Hardy. Seriously? is he gonna leave his sunglasses on the entire 10 seconds of this encounter?
Jon and Kate. Drink everytime we see tears. Drink twice if a child cries. Finish your bev if you cry.
Lesson 1: you can't keep macking on a girl if you get handcuffed
That's the last time I fill my pockets with sushi.
it was a weeks worth of wine for $20. it would have been fiscally irresponsible to not buy it.
Well ya in hindsight obviously offering the cop a jello shot was a bad idea
or how I got to mom's but there is vomit on my shoes. I never thought i'd be recapping with her.
So i just got guilted into doing a tequila shot by a group of guys chanting "USA!" at me.
Fell down the metal stairs and some guy tried to fight me after you left. I fell asleep with cadbury eggs in my mouth too.
Also, I'm sat on the floor drinking cava because life is just not working for me tonight.
Roommate is hosting a 'sorority retreat' at our house. If you need to get laid, stumble on over.
woke up to find a case of beer in the oven and a random puppy in the house...guess i had a party last night?
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