I'm like 99% sure I made out with Kevin Spacey last night. Not good.
Sorry I didn't wanna double team his sister. Having whiskey dick and watching you get laid didn't sound appealing
some people spend their whole lives trying to find their soulmate. who knew mine was hiding in utah successfully balancing a pageant career and a coke habit.
Ok. I'll enjoy the quiet (translation: I might be naked, call ahead if you come home tonight)
Watching the wiggles while tripping on acid is the scariest fucking thing of all time
He said he cried as he watched porn yesterday; I'd say he's taking the break-up pretty bad....
You, me, naked, mistletoe, fifth of jack, gallon of lube, condoms, Cheetos, handcuffs, rope, along with no morals, inhibition or judgment. That's all I want for Christmas.
I think the lady at jack in the box started crying when we put in our order.
She said she was hoping I'd be hotter. I told her I didn't see anybody standing in line to titty fuck her either. She was a great kisser.
Some dude peed on tonys floor because drunkness
They offered him a bucket as he was peeing and he was like "Nah, I'm good"
I mean seriously...It's like the universe is saying "your vagina is closed, move along"
I just want him to hold me after a bad midterm. Is that even too much to ask for after sleeping with him twice?
I wish I was there so i could bitch slap his incredibly sexy face
Oral sex and brunch. The perfect sunday morning.
Omfg 7 hour sex session who am I?
PS: I think I'm in love
Ability to walk tomorrow tbd
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