if i get an abortion, then will you go out with me?
In a bar in glasgow talking to a 12 year old about life. Welcome to Kentucky.
So i just got diagnosed with swine flu. im at walgreens looking like shit and this guy keeps staring at me. Im so gonna cough in his face.
well, dont
I didnt. i just coughed then looked at him menacingly. he got it.
You were pretty fucked up... decided playing hopscotch down the stairs was an excellent idea.. it was extremely entertaining
Grape juice and vodka is NOT wine.
I woke up hugging a loaf of bread and a water bottle this morning
My face left an imprint in the loaf...
is it too early in the day to continue our conversation about penis shapes?
and you think what you did last night was bad? at least you didnt go wake up a sleeping guy for birthday sex.
...But it's not like we would be the first people to pay for an abortion with student loans and cell phone rebates.
The entire defensive line took care if me when I passed out. One of them even held my hair when I puked and the other carried me upstairs to bed. God I love football so much more now
No. If you are gonna end this, you are gonna do it right. Not by getting bombed and falling on a strange penis. That was the old you.
I have learned that if you don't want to hook up with the guy who walked you home, food is great compensation.
Is it weird that the girl he dated after me had a child with him and it has my name? I think it means he's not over me. Or I'm really self absorbed...
you seriously don't remember..? but then again, you were taking shots by yourself for like 30mins
if wiping your ass w an envelope isnt the definition of hitting "financial rock bottom " then nothing is!
Randomize
