idk why but i just wanna to have sex with the idea of him. i don't even wanna meet him.
I saw the video from Saturday. So, how much did I drink for me to think I was a duck and strip my clothes?
All I know is that if a letter starts with "I'm aware you jerked off in the bathroom last night," I don't want to finish reading it.
you yelled "who's job is it to keep me from breaking shit" and then immediately ripped off the molding as you fell down the stairs.
Whatever you gave me is making me lactate
We shaved off his eyebrows I'm pretty sure his fiance will be thrilled at the wedding
If those antibiotics mean you can't drink, ya might as well pack your bags and re-enroll next fall, because sobriety this week would be social suicide.
I mean there is a rehab there so its gotta be a good time
New found love of volunteering, when there's free wine available at all times. Good times. And I get to to feel good about helping people.
Please show REO speedwagon ur boobs for me.
Wait, tell the rest at happy hour. I wanna be able to interrupt you with my loud cackles and stupid questions.
Just saw the ex while I was at CVS at 3am buying Depends for my heavy flow
Just read the 12 signs you're a horrible roommate post and fucking in your roommate's bed wasn't on the list, so I'm a pretty awesome roommate.
Would it be inappropriate to send a friend request to the sheriff that fingerprinted me last night???
Shit is getting real. I just adjusted my search radius for my dating profile to ANY FUCKING WHERE
Randomize
