just do it
fine only cuz shes asian
Skinny jeans should not be made in size 14. Then, it's just a lie.
Using Dr. Seuss quotes to ask me how badly I want your penis is not appropriate.
I mean I found and stalk his moms facebook.. that obsessed.
HE KEEPS WALKING AWAY. IT'S LIKE HE DOESN'T EVEN LIKE FRIES. WTF.
If you're fucking that other dude, I'll take the sloppy seconds. I don't care.
It's like a bag of dicks covered in taint sweat pounding a pregnant baby walrus.
Idk he's just laying there passed out with a French fry up his nose and without any pants on. Boner and everything.
Hey could you buy me 2 bottles of arbor mist? I'm trying to get laid tonight
Guys, Black Friday does not exist in the world of dealing. Stop texting me asking what my deals are.
One last thing: he lists glow sticks and tacos as things he can't live without. How would we not be friends??
He won't leave and I need to take a shit and vomit, quite possibly at the same time.
Update: drank half a bottle of Bourbon and texted three ex's. Waiting for the roommates to go to sleep so I can raid the fridge.
ya well i woke up to my roommate spraying me with windex...
Jack and I got in a huge fight at 6am. He fell asleep when I was giving him head so I freaked. We were both black out so I made a memo in my phone reminding me
Randomize
