You are still hot in my book. I wanna dry hump u like a 9th grader then hump for real when the herpes is gone.
So, I woke up to an empty bottle of scotch and a dead car. The last thing I remember are the strippers being mad at me. Awesome night.
Feels good to be wearing underwear again though...
Im sending over a girl who thinks youre in the next twilight movie
your the best winggirl ever
hes a good boy he deserves a good blow
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you both peed in the photobooth after the pictures were taken.
We should bet how many people are going to get alcohol poisoning next weekend and whoever wins gets a free Starbucks.
No talking tonight. Just drinking and puking up memories
We poured some Korbel out for our homie Dick Clark.
What do you want to swallow. Press 1 whiskey press 2 rum
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And then I cried about the Cubs for a half hour. If my dignity hadn't already been lost by that point in the night, it sure as hell was then.
I went shopping for a dress that was baptism and bar appropriate.
I'm sending lingerie pics that I took yesterday. I fully prepared for this holiday
I just bought sparkling water with plan B. I am the most basic bitch to ever exist.
A black cat walked my drunken ass home last night and made sure I made it back into the apartment safe. Sat with me for 30 minutes as I struggled to unlock the door. Guardian angel or drunken hallucinations?
Her pegging playlist is all heavy metal so stay away if you wanna keep your ass intact
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