god i wish i could take a shit and a shower at the same time
Jack off faster Americas best dance crew is beyonce themed
she's sitting on the other side of the room at this party. with her smirnoff tucked in that little opening between her cleavage and shirt. drinking from a straw. snapping her fingers off beat.
it's love
We started playin just the tip, then shit got crazy
STOP CALLING ME LADY CHLAMYDIA
I think they were cool with it, they should have know if I was the host of the baby shower it was going to involve a keg and jager shots.
I think ppl see us as an unstoppable drunken force
would it be completely unacceptable to smoke a cig outside naked? im already doing it so what you say doesn't matter.
This guy in a neck brace is ordering bottle service at the strip club. Not sure whether to applaud his commitment or scorn his addiction. It's a draw.
Oh, that was the alley that I ate a pine cone in.
Other than trying to finger me on the couch in the middle of the bar a few times, you were fine.
If Plan B had a rewards card I would have earned so many free tote bags by now
Literally, and I mean LITERALLY as in "not to be confused with a casual hyperbole", LITERALLY the day we broke up she slept with 3 different guys that night.
1) It's nice to see that the whole "English Major" thing is upping the quality of your rants 2) Have you considered that your dick was the cork holding her sluttiness in?
It's always appealing to be able to say to someone "I banged your mom"
The air taste purple.
Randomize
