I didnt expect it either. But she was there and I had a boner, so i made it happen.
OMG - This guy with a mullet just told me - it wasn't a mullet - but his hair dresser layered it wrong. It's so walmart in here. I hate you.
So I gave him a handjob and now we aren't friends anymore
You're at Notre Dame. What did you expect?
We didn't even make it to the door before they came out saying we weren't allowed in because of last time..
the only good thing about breaking up with him while naked was that i got to make a forgetting sarah marshall reference
just won 200$ from the school for "liking" the anti-alcohol seminar. putting it to good use
how?
not even kidding, my fake id is arriving in 6-8 business days
The dorm caught on fire so it turned into a 5am pool party
I asked him if we could switch positions so I could watch the Olympics... I'd say date number two is a miss
just bought myself a "your about to get violated in every way so you deserve this chipotle" steak bowl.
Before you started puking your brains out, you took a moment to give me the correct order of the Harry potter series
I just bought a blender and 120 pizza rolls. Bring tequila.
We are gonna have a bake sale and the preceded will go towards the abortion
He stopped me mid blowjob and asked me to take off my hat. He said it made him feel like Neil Young was going down on him.
He stopped mid sex to say he was sorry that he couldn't make us work.continued. Stopped again to ask if it was crazy that he loved me.
That is not what no strings attached sex is about.
I'm classy like audry Hepburn. Chugging wine out of the bottle on the way to the club. Shed do that. I know she would.
Randomize
