I had a disgustingly explicit dream last night involving myself and lil wayne.
Nothings more american than taking a shit with a handgun next to you.
i think i gave myself a perma-hangover. or god just hates me.
He just kept muttering to himself "stabby stabby stabby stabby" while we were boning. I will never be boning him again.
Brutal- a couple weeks back I had a 28 hr blackout and four day hangover. S'why I decided to haul it in
he made me scream out "#24" while we fucked...no more football players
I might never shower again without beer.. I might also always drink naked
Im just a social blackout drinker.
And after we were done he said "Let's play a game! Who can find their clothes first"
DONT TALK SHIT ABOUT LUNCHABLES
I found a video on my phone from last night... You got up on the table at McDonald's and screamed BURRITOOO!
Seeking encouragement from my tinder matches to ace this test. I've sunk to a newest low.
CRAIGSLIST IS NOT THE ANSWER
IM LONELY AND HORNY
Hypothetically speaking of course, is it bad if a cat eats lube?
Point in my hangover when I'm honestly not sure if I'm about to puke, or shit my pants.
Randomize
