yeah but I shoulda known it\'d be bad when he start rubbing my pubic bone instead of the clit! Awkkkkwarddd
so after he got his stomach pumped, he asked for a smoking room.
Nothing kills the mood more than a jesus song.
I'm pretty sure God is rooting for me with this two gf thing
She is definitely tripolar. Like bipolar but better/worse.
No, we have matured. We've stopped having sex in front if his room mate.
you seemed to enjoy falling down hill
wow, never heard the last few months of my life put so succint
Using your ex girlfriend's little brother to pick up women at the a&p: priceless
Well I think I made it pretty obvious I wasn't in to it. I was drinking a beer while he was going down in me
I think god invented us with two hands so we can grab an ass and spank it at the same time.
I have his gate key so know he has to see me again.
The assignment was about the Industrial Revolution so I just screamed at them in a British accent all day. No, they didn't know I was hungover.
I'm not over that dildo rifle story. I don't think I ever will be.
He just jumped up off the couch, screamed "ITS OVER NINE THOUSAND!" And then attempted to fly out the window like a bird. I don't know nor do I care to know what just happened
You know when you're a kid and you play at the pool until you passed out? It was like that except instead of playing it was sex.
Randomize
