I asked my mom, she said yes...but you have to shower with grandpa.
Me too. I'd like to spend all next summer high and drunk and riding ponies and boys.
Have you ever been so weak from sleep you couldn't push your poo out?
Don't judge me. Haven't eaten all day so I'm in my room sticking my finger in peanut butter, then jam, then my mouth.
If they ask for a stool sample we r no longer friends.
Just had a guy dressed only in a towel ask me for a cig, hug me and kiss me then proceeded to pee of the balcony while still talking to me and callin me baby
I've got to stop giving the gift of vagina for every occasion. I'm exhausted.
You should have seen her, she looked like a skinny Jabba The Hutt
That literally makes no sense
Exactly
I took so my adderall all I can do is lie on my floor and stare too hard at my hedgehog. He has 42 spines in the dark spot on his shoulder btw.
Actually going to jail after your wedding is NOT part of the plan.
Jeff brought me a cup of coffee to my desk. He's getting a blow job.
He gave me an extra phone charger for the other side of the bed the other night. Is that love?
Ended up at the strip club, got told I should be a dancer 4 times, got free tacos and my hot TA slide in the dms. How was your night?
I remember being like "I can't hold both of you guy's hair back!" so I put headbands on each of you
I woke up at 6:30 in the morning on the A train on 14th street. You wouldn't know anything about that right?
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