id tell you what to do, but my morals dont exactly scream, "Listen to this guy!"
Do you think I can wear the dress I went to jail in with the shoes I went to prom in to the wedding tonight?
I'm watching intervention which is getting me psyched for your birthday. Is that wrong?
The number of tpain songs that actually relate to my life right now is embarrassing.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just faked an orgasm while masturbating. Idk what exactly my problem is but I have one
Playing pong against a girl who fucked my ex boyfriend so that's how my nights going
I just got high and swiffered the bathroom floor....2 for 2 on brilliant life ideas
She asked how comfortable I was with her while we were in the shower. She then proceeded to pee in said shower.
SCUSE ME I KNOW YOU DIDNT DO THAT MUCH COKE IN 10 MINUTES
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i'm high and self actualising, please send help
There's lube on my homework. #priorities
Pro tip: If you tell him that his dick looks like a muppet then you won't have to see him again.
I'm not the kind of girl that sleeps with someone else's boyfriend. But I'm getting waxed just in case I change my mind...
i'm now remembering the last part of my nigght....ugh. apperently i bargained with the wendys drive up girl after they closed and got "w/e they had left" for $7
You ever have a fart follow you around?
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