so stoned i ashed in my jack and coke like 4 times. drinking it anyway
there is a school bus full of santas parked in front of the liquor store
Too long to explain. Basically I started an electircal fire. No one was hurt except for a box of cereal near the outlet.
Thanks to this cookie, I have now eaten something other than skittles today.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Update: it wasn't just our driver. This ticket confirms that the Royal Oak PD also found our behavior on the party bus to be "Lewd and Indecent."
No. Mother. Fucking. Jello shots. Just no. I'm not falling into that trap again.
I'm drunk off vodka and I haven't eaten today. I've never felt more like Kirsten Cohen in my life.
25 likes of a picture on Instagram of my butthole. beat that.
I imagine my service panda will provide sufficient protection. At the very least it will be an irresistible cuddly distraction while I make good my escape.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm trying to poop and took acid, this is going to end horrid or wonderful. Oh the amusement park, not the pooping.
Look I'm sorry I stuffed your wife's bouquet toss but I won't have that weak shit in my house.
Passing out drunk in my therapists lobby may not be the best way to confirm my "stability"
Hey, what's a nice way of saying "Why'd you send me a picture of your boobs last night" without seeming ungrateful?
U were so upset when the shower ruined ur nachos. I didn't kno what to do.
Why are there naked heterosexuals in my apartment?
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