my grandma just informed me that patrick swayze used to babysit my dads cousins why wasn't i informed of this early...like when i was obsessed with dirty dancing!
I'm pissed I'm finding this out at 24 bc i could have used this material to make friends
He told us that was the only place he could get service when we found him in the closet passed out with a beer
5 am is for sleeping. Or getting railed on by a stranger. But never for fundraising. Get real.
I went from a chick that didn't like to have sex to one that can't get enough of it. I can't believe I'm going to say this but at 27 I think I need a happy medium
Never visiting again. You guys drink like immortals
I'm at home, drinking with my cat. While this is an enjoyable lifestyle, other plans are preferable.
Nothing like grinding all night with a hot ethnic guy dressed as a clown to help conquer your phobia. Halloween is fucked up.
Did you know there is a guy on the porch, wrapped in your snuggie, singing no woman no cry and drinking wine coolers?
It's nice out. . But after I almost put a bag of chips in the microwave to make nachos. ..I figured it best to not venture too far from the couch
Condoms and Ice Cream, that's all we need.
there's people who respect me enough not to bang on my bed and i think that's beautiful
He said he doesn't "believe" in cuddling. Can you come get me?
sooo, that video of you eating lasangna with the strobe going magically reappeared on my phone
This may sound strange but do you have my pants?
You tried to trade them for some girls skirt... So she has them...
That same damn squirrel keeps staring at me like I did something wrong. Nature knows when you're hung over.
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