erin looks like she hung out with the sham wow guy last night. she's got the beat up hooker look goin' on
I woke up on my floor...
I woke up with colors of the wind playing on repeat on my laptop...
Drunken candy land NOW. Dont fight the urge... you want to.
We're having the conversation about what happened last night, all we can come up with is that we came home, drank two litres of lemonade, I took one of her seizure pills and we fell asleep with sabrina the teenage witch on
I told my mom I had sex with him and even SHE was proud. Now that's saying something.
I feel I need to conquer him. He's six ft eight and 265lbs. Its like the mount Everest of sex.
I've only left my bed to pee and eat nutella out of the jar with my fingers
This weekend was suppose to be a 'smoke weed and stare at things' weekend. Not a 'spend all my rent money partying with Europeans till 8 am' weekend
Yeah but those French chicks did get naked
He told me the escort brought him pizza. Can something be sad and awesome at the same time ?
But the ghost of his schlong past haunts you
Remember camping when you drank 36 beers to yourself in one day and puked in your tent? Ready for round 2?
I just ran into mom and dad day drinking at the bar while I skipped class and was day drinking at the same bar.
"Yeah because the first thing I think of when I hear the word college is tear gas."
I didnt know whether I was going to vomit or orgasm because I was feeling both sensations
She said cowgirls can can pee standing up and proceeded to pull up her dress and drop her underwear.
Randomize
