Did the walk of shame past her kids. I'm younger than one of them.
It went from "haha, this will be funny" to "full blown anime porn fetish"
One reason I don't come to Portland. I saw 8 guys I have had sex with last night. At the same party.
By 8 I mean 9.
And by 9 I mean 10.
She hadn't heard about the oil spill. She gave dumb blondes a whole new standard to aim for. I did her anyway...but that isn't the point.
No driving. The car is spinning. I am praying for mcdonalds.
I can't believe they didnt cut us off after we all hugged each other and started singing "were the 3 best friends that anybody could have" RIGHT IN FRONT of the bar and bartender...
so apparently going to a christian rock concert dressed as Jesus is horribly inappropriate.
stef broke her leg trying to vault over the coffee table. these olympics drinking games are going to fucking kill us
Found my id. It was in the cats litter box. Seriously what was last night.
I found your dog. Now we are bros, so he is staying. Don't call, don't make it weird.
I saw a classic trojan enz laying on his desk. So he's probably not into the kinky shit.
This bar smells like your ball sack. In a weird way I miss you.
Were you the one who yelled "FOR GLORYHOLE!" then punched a hole through my door?
I think I should've done my makeup before I took the acid. Because now I just feel silly looking at myself in the mirror
Yeah but now he has a wife. It’s going to be different this year
So what. We’ve banged every Thanksgiving since high school. She just has to understand it’s a holiday tradition
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