Done. Eyebrows are waxed, entire body shaved
May or may not have just drunkenly opened my christmas presents. Greatly disappointed. Might break up sooner.
You stood up gave the stripper 15 ones in a wad, hugged her and then sat back down.
Just been one of those weeks where alcohol out weighs friendship
i mean, what better way to remind him of his failures in life than to fuck his roommate/fraternity brother?
Vegas should really enforce the buddy system because if not everyone is going to end up swimming during the water show in front of the Bellagio.
I could of sworn you were praying in the strip club.
Like, he's a nice guy. But he's better at fingering than he is at speaking.
Somebody really needs to come home and pick up the used condom from the middle of the wood room floor. It's blue, if that helps decide who comes - uh, home.
Suppose hypothetically u received a request for face time communication with a gentleman who looked astonishingly like a penis. Would you indulge him in conversation? Hypothetically of course.
exhale infront of a fan. self shotgun.
We're not piercing ourselves today.
I'm just going to use my debit card. I feel bad buying pizza with the money I stole from my roommate...so I'm going to put it in my piggy bank.
Bro i just made a pipe out of a mechanical pencil and the top to an eye drop bottle. Does that make me some kind of pot god?
She called and said she was waiting for me naked. I got there and she was in ratty sweats, sitting in Nick's lap, with divorce papers. Needless to say my night was shitty.
Randomize
