All he did was lie there and used his hands to keep pace. He was like the metronome of sex.
His band may suck, but it's not like I'm sleeping with all of them.
If I refrain from fucking my manager, I'm going to reward myself by fucking that guy from the photo department.
Briing, briiing- tricycle ridden. Where is my crown?
This morning my mouth tasted like fruit trees, battery acid, and magnums. Transferring schools was the best decision Ive ever made.
Traded my phone for pizza, then got it back this morning....successful night
So that's all you want from me. Easy ass.
And an everlasting friendship
Between the puerto rican elf, the fat marine, the deaf guy and the ex coke head I've got a good preview if the men in this city...
Lack of response to this text gains you a half hour of freedom before I initiate operations to conclude you are not, in fact, comatose. You requested no mercy.
I'd marry him just to keep his penis in the country
Our lives are a motherfucking joke
If it exists, I've probably pregamed it.
OKAY THAT'S CREEPY AND I'D PROBABLY ACCIDENTLY ORGASM
I think my fortune cookie is telling me I give good blowjobs.
He said when the pizza came I zip locked one slice and went to the couch and snuggled with it. Does that give you an idea of how my night was?
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