We were tigers and tigers don't wear pants
is not sure whether or not everyone at the club last night calling me a-easy is a good thing?
that last vodka shot was definitely the straw that broke the camels alcohol tolerance level
Go to petsmart and tell me if the dog trainer is the guy I slept with friday. Thanks.
I woke up this morning next to a stack of saltines & a txt from u saying "do it." it took me a second to remember wat was going on
He said "I wish they sold 40's in bars".. and a business plan came to mind. Maybe I CAN do something with my degree...
Turns out that my surprise "happy birthday" drop-in for my dad turned into a "my parents like afternoon sex a lot" realization.
Power went out. She lit a candle and gave me head. Made some pretty impressive candlelight cocksucking shadowpuppets. Must be what porn was like in olden times.
This guy is walking around with a deer head on. Honestly what the fuck
That's what he gets for shittin at the strip club. Who does that??
I shouldn't be drunk at 3 pm but alas, here we are...
Fantasizing about the apocalypse is fun and shit until the conditions that could lead to one suddenly seem feasible
how am i in montreal? thats like a 3 hour train ride. i remember nothing.
The Lion King Is on YouTube
Until 2 minutes ago I actually had a chance to pass my midterms... thanks alot
What am I supposed to say? "Oh hey, I can't go out with you tonight because I can't picture myself sleeping with you and I was high and just trying to be nice when I said yes"?
Randomize
