this girl looks like the female version of brooke hogan
I know we didn't hook up because i was still wearing my fanny pack in the morning
He had the Transformers symbol tattooed to his chest. We had to do it doggy style so I could laugh into my pillow instead of his face.
He just gave himself a boner while driving using "the power of his mind"
The bouncers kicked us out around 3 so we went to the grocery store flasks in hand and asked them to turn up their music...
I puked in my fridge last night while I was trying to get water
I DO NOT KNOW WHO SHE IS, WE HAVE NO MORE FRUIT, SHE CAN'T STAY HERE.
I don't give a shit if she's homeless, if you're gunna live outside el pollo loco and act like a bitch I'm squirting you with my water bottle
Which I'm also surprisingly fine with. If he walked into the bedroom naked, holding a fish in one hand and a lit candle in the other and said "Let's get fucking weird." I'd probably go with it. He's just that hot.
He was saying things like "cum for me like a good girl" and "put my entire python I like to call a dick in your mouth" .. Okay I might have changed that one a bit
I like that you use a Disney movie to describe the starting of our BDSM relationship, lmao
I was dreaming of a parallel reality and in the dream I just looked up at my present self and was like "you're high, man"
You can trust me. I'm unemployed and not wearing pants.
The best part about theater chicks is nothing is too cliche or out of line. I just fucked her Braveheart style in my entry way while saying goodbye.
I am high. And my mom surpised me today. Now i am high and with my mom....bad idea
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