Pot didnt help. Now Im even sadder but now im afraid of the clouds and the crickets.
"auto-tuned camel" is how i'd describe the noises she made
just gave him road head on the way home IN A SNOW STORM..good thing we didn't crash or I'd be dead. I DIDN'T HAVE MY SEATBELT ON
clearly you have your priorities straight
She's allergic to latex.
Lucky bastard.
Hah, I lost the lenses in my glasses, didn't event notice til this morning... How was the meeting?
Just thought i'd let you guys know that my dad was roofied at a lesbian bar last night...
I guess I made wings because there's chicken everywhere. Even on the walls. 3 of them. It's like a chicken grave yard.
You know it's a good Halloween party when a guy wearing a light-up sombrero offers you blow.
I got hammered with my chem professor at 4:30. I'm pretty sure that can't be topped by any real sort of institution.
i was enjoying my post acid trip trance a little too much. i found $50 on the sidewalk but didnt pick it up. just stared at the bill cuz it looked cool.
someone picked it up and i stared at the ground where it was for probably another minute or 2
When she introduced her friend to me I shook his hand and told him not to leave his ugly vest at my apartment in the morning. He took it off and bought me a shot.
I guess the wine stains on your shirt and the $2 vodka tonics you're sweating out just scream, "Welcome to DC, please ask me for directions."
Okay so how much boob would you consider inappropriate for smart casual?
My heart says buy the granny panties, but my vagina says don't throw in the towel yet.
he had DANDRUFF in his PUBES. 0/10 would not blow again.
Randomize
