your transformation into a slut upon entering college is like a shakespearian tragedy
You know your in college when you decide house chores with games of beer pong...
Do you remember that blonde girl he brought home from the bar on Friday night? She didn't leave until Monday afternoon. We didn't even know she was still in his room...what a sketchy weekend.
Fuck. That. I'm gonna get drunker and make them regret they EVER put me at the kids table. I'm a MAN.
you grabbed the waitors dick and yelled '2nd base' and then he gave you his number. I hate your life.
He sent me a pic of his Junk. He said it was a Brett Farve valentine.
Thank God I didn't lose my virginity to that asshole. That woulda been like winnin a raffle ticket for a free bag of dog shit. But with like a really pretty bag. A pretty bag full of dog shit.
Just had sex in an ice hut. What have you done with your holiday break?
There no better feeling of self control than stopping yourself before telling your girlfriend she gives head just like her sister.
I've been called an asshole for a lot of things in my life, but I never thought it would be because of potatoes
I'm at that point in my life where keeping an extra pair of underwear in my purse is normal.
I think I'm gunna glue a sign to my head that says "WAKE ME UP BEFORE 7!" And go to sleep and hope a kind passer by wakes me up for my exam .
what are you getting to drink for new years?
well seeing as how i just got diagnosed with a uti, whatever we can mix with cranberry juice
it was the most awkward makeout ever. it was record breaking really
...i feel like you have a lot of those.
Yep. Just fucked a 34 year old on the football field where we both went to high school. That's a story for the grandkids.
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