Alright folks.. i have made history - I just hit my 2nd PARKED car SOBER withing 6 months.. :*( wtf?!
I seem to have left my pride at pride
Yes, that's a picture of my balls. It isn't however an answer to my question.
i offered her breakfast shots. she politely declined.
You chanted SOFA PIZZA all night then we woke up to find about ten slices under the cushions where you were sleeping....
When you awake you'll realize that your car is missing....just know that I had it and becuz of your car I hooked up with the hot bar tender that looks like that guy from bay-watch however I parked it in a loading zone and it was towed...that sex was TOTALLY worth it love you
I just used cruise control in a 25 zone. When will this hangover end???
Please tell me you've ingested more than weed and Oreos today
Hostess is going out of business we'll never survive the apocalypse
Stop your judging. I got free booze AND an oil change. You're the one whose always saying we're spending too much money.
Everyone in Columbus is two degrees of separation from my vagina.
You kept singing "your gonna lose that girl" to him right in front of her.. of course you got punched in the face.
Probably not. Getting pulled over and puking my guts out on the side of the road in front of the cop and him making fun of me, was not my finest moment. Plus I lost my debit card.
Damn that sucks I haven't needed pants the whole time i've been here
When I found out he was circumcised I called his mother and thanked her
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