you proceeded to suck on ur pinkie saying it reminded you of chris and you wanted him badly
I'm taking last night back. It officially didn't happen. Tell your friends.
I'm surprised you like me... I didn't think I was your type.
Blonde hair and big tits is every guys type.
We started telling people we were married, and then we hooked up on a park bench
Hey when you wake up and read this, we really need to stop pullin our dicks out when we drink dude. I have all the pics, yall are assholes
He put oyster crackers in his ramen noodles. Is that a thing? Because holy shit I had never thought of it before and if it's not a thing he's my new stoner hero for discovering it.
I'm ready to sell my soul to the strip club tonight
Because I was drunk or stoned for 4 days. I either made terrible decisions or none at all.
What if everything solid was made of oreos and everything liquid was wine
I just got chills
Just seen a chubby version of you. Nearly kidnapped her. Perfect woman
You were so stoked after landing that flip that you dropped acid with three random guys without hesitation
Found out my grandpa had two wives and found out I'm eligible for some internships 11/10 would do acid again.
I'm not dropping acid and watching game of thrones with you. That just sounds like a disaster waiting to happen.
We are literally scheduling phone sex... if that's not long distance af then i don't know what is
if jesus wore shoes made out of pure flavor and hurricane kicked u in the face thats how it feels to eat pizza bites right now
Randomize
