If this place produced love children they would be born wearing Lilly Pullitzer with raging coke addictions.
oh no you fucking didn't eat my mac and cheese you cunt
My financial aid advisors would be so pissed if they knew I was spending my loan money on strippers
He puts stickers to promote his new shirt company in every sack he sells. He's like the donald trump of weed
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she said "i got this" and then fell on her face. within grabbing distance of the wall and her boyfriend
He said to me this morning that we should finish these beers, go and get plan B then on the way back, go to the pub to celebrate the death of our baby. I love Manchester.
My body is a temple...that happens to be able to get me free Patron shots at the bar
It's amazing how not interested in talking to him I am since I've decided that he probably has chlamydia.
Walk of shame. Stopped at an estate sale on the way back to the house. Old lady pulled a condom wrapper of the back of my hoodie. beat that
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Nothing bonds a father and daughter like washing her puke off the front steps
In hindsight, drunkenly yelling "I'M TICKLISH" might not have been an entirely wise decision
I'm sad about how hungover I'm gonna feel tomorrow.
...and now I welcome the sweet embrace of death.
I feel like I don't even know what's gonna happen when we first see each other. It'll be like explosions and glitter and a unicorn will run by pulling a sleigh of alcohol and sex.
Have you considered murder?
Other than my credit score and this bowl of oatmeal, not really. It's very messy
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