Got some. In a truck. I will just pee you in the morning i guess?
no it's cool...i'm just drinking and studying...cool night
Me= Watching Ferngully. My neighbor= Having really loud sex including multiple orgasms
Oh God
I know, but the worst part is I'm not really sure which I'd rather be doing. Feel free to re-evaluate our friendship
you kept yelling 'bird cage' in between songs and finally the lead singer stopped to ask if you meant 'free bird' and you said 'fuck you, i'm not gay', needless to say you were kindly escorted out
I love how my cats smell like pot.
did i really just refer to you as "the mid season replacement"
Ok the fact that you know THAT phrase perfectly is terrifying. You just proved you can slut it up in mulitiple languages.
I wish we knew morse code and could knock to each other through the wall
Let me be the 15% helpful, 85% useless as shit angel on your shoulder.
I don't think I've ever been sadder than the way I feel when I finish my meal while I'm high
It was extremely weird and uncomfortable mid blow job she looks up and says " tell me Simon Cowell makes your dick hard"
I think my liver has finally had enough and is going all Ashley-Judd-in-a-Lifetime-movie on me.
im gonna shove his purity ring down his throat
Life's hard when you can't differentiate between retrograde and PMS
it was all good until mid make out when he announced 'i just came'. ...he wasn't joking.
Randomize
