Can I use cash for clunkers to trade in her boobs for a new set of 18 year old tits?
Its worth a shot.
tonight i'm making a christmas tree shaped shot pyramid
bouncer thought i was tryin to get the license plate numbers of strippers to stalk them. I had to go show him where I threw up to get back in.
Clothes are such an inconvenience.
I popped a zit on your vagina. Don't say I never loved you.
Im thinking about quitting weed for my dog
she bonged a coffee cause she was hungover. then she bonged a beer cause she got ambitious. then she barfed. then she had to start over again.
It's home.......I'm going to the store in disguise to get skittles and cake frosting. Then I'll eat the frosting in a dark corner while I cry and wonder what I did to deserve this.
So the crazy cock blocking bitch sent her a picture of her boobs using MY phone and said: he's busy at the moment
Wow i don't think I've had to send this many texts apologizing for my behavior since high school...
dont eat that thats our sex nutella.
You knew you'd end up at his house the minute you emptied the bowl of condoms into your purse.
Please tell me how the stripper got back to Sarah's from the trailer park
I'm thinking my boss switched to all cordless keyboards and mouses so that none of us would hang ourselves in the office.
And he's back on taking these stupid testosterone supplements to kickstart him back into working out. And they just make him angry and horny all the time. I'm like great, just in time to meet my whole family for Christmas.
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