forecast for tonight is alcohol, low standards and poor decisions.
i am not allowed to pick the men i sleep with anymore
just woke up with a thong on my face, dont remember going home with anyone and its way too big for it to be a good thing
5 out of the 6 of them cut their hands while trying to shot gun the beer, I had never seen balls attached to such patheticness
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I DONT WANT TO PLUS I THINK I FLUSHED MY KEYS DOWN THE TOILET WHILE I WAS PEEING
Things you owe me: a sober apology, $12, the removal of bbq sauce from my doorknob
His "hunger Strike for change" lasted 4 days. Hi welcome to my coke binge last weekend....not impressed
He sent me a picture of his dick saying "your throne my lady" for my birthday. He knows the way to my heart.
I feel like it could help stop wars and begin world peace and the continents can unite for one Monday because chicken fries come back today
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I had a sex with someone last night and I was so drunk. i told him to tell me his whole name so I can say it back to him in a "sexy" way.... Because I forgot it
I have done everything sexualally imaginable with that umpalumpa
It's scary that my vibrator is a dangerous weapon. I want a new one.
She bruised my penis again. But, trooper I am we kept on going.
What? I'll do just about anything if you give me a sticker.
Met the hot new neighbor. She's into country music and giving really good bjs. Latter made up for the former.
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