He muttered something about having just washed he sheets, then demanded I give him all my quarters.
My cat gives me a boner
guess they didn't have any donuts in her size.
Please stop using the dehumidifier for your weed.
These days, you and me are swimming in dicks.
Marco
Polo
Also we saw a clown getting arrested. Rochester is weird.
Can't tell if its the LSD or if that demon man just stared at my penis. Cleveland is a weird place. All true stories.
The only reason I can fathom that you've been able to continue to date new people this long is that women continue to become of age each year, and the younger ones don't know any better.
he was definitely tindering while i gave him head
I blew him while the canoe was sinking...I think of it as the better version of the titanic
I think i'm the first person to get kicked out of a club while completely sober. Come outside please!!
I mean I made my therapist laugh so hard she cried....so yes, my life is literally a joke to everyone
I just watched a squirrel take down a snake,life isn't so bad after all.
He hit me with his bagpipe
Isnt that against the lesbian handbook?
We're going to watch the inauguration and fuck. Or fuck and watch the inauguration, I'm not picky, just get your ass over here by ten.
Randomize
