I wanna be on tlc
Impossible. You are neither fat, fertile or fashionless.
woke up this morning with a pool of champagne in my purse. apparently i was saving it for later.
only you would photoshop your dick
there's chicken and sequins in our bathroom sink. part of me almost wants to know what happened
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We made a drinking game out of Project Runway. Gay guys are so fun.
I don't have a choice really. It's either lose 15 lbs by Halloween, or I'm going as a giant banana.
That's why you NEVER put anything a stripper gave you in your mouth
All I wanted was a hug. You dirty, dirty whore.
OMGGG I JUST SAW A REAL OWL JUST CHILLING ON TOP OF A SIGN POST. I WALKED UP TO HIM AND SAID HOO HOOOOO AND HE TURNED HIS HEAD AT ME AND WAS LIKE YEAHHH BRO
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Peanut butter balls.
IF YOU EVEN COME NEAR MY BALLS AGAIN I SWEAR TO GOD
In the mean time, I'll continue to kick ass at running and become a successful stripper while he might hook up with one average looking girl he met at a club. I so win.
My boss followed me on Twitter. Excuse me while I delete 90% of my tweets
9 am booty call on your ex's birthday. Fuck yea
I just balanced a full glass of chocolate milk on my left boob. Don't think i've ever been more proud.
Turns out tits aren't quite as effective an enticement when they know for a fact that they can't touch.
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