May have just accidentally purchased an iphone on Kate's credit card. This has potential to be bad.
Needless to say Beer Gardens severly frowns upon playing flip cups with real glasses.
Down at cameli's and some homeless dude just pulled out a taser. Awesome.
oh good. ive just found out that i went downstairs at 6 am still blacked out and had a 30 minute conversation with my mom about the different ways to feed our dog
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It would be been irresponsible not to make cleaning the apartment into a drinking game
Too lazy to get out of my bed thats 2 feet away from you. Are you sure youre alright?
Would it be weird if I told you I thought of you when I masturbated?
Looks like I'm more than just your Mexico mistake...
We need to go back to the barter system so I can sell my body and just be done with it.
According to you, you were with your "Eskimo bro for life" last night.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You know you need to take better care of yourself when shaving reminds you of sheep shearing...
I'm in my bed. Snow angles in fresh sheets. don't even try to get me out tonight.
First thing that comes on in the morning is kanye's I can't hold my liquor. yeezus lives.
Just called the boss a "cunt baguette". To her face. This is why I can't drink with people from work. Know of anywhere that's hiring?
You can tell by the way he cuddles that he's got mommy issues
The magnum condom fits. I feel like a manly version of cinderella
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