how do we leave politely?
Tell them I'm going into labor. I will spill a beer and tell them m water broke.
I was giving him head and when I deep throated him he screamed out "Ohh, top ten!"
third eye blind makes so much more sense now that i have a drug problem
Drunk sex destroyed my coffee table... ikea this weekend?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
That's fuckin bs. I had the bouncers beat by 30 yards til that dumbshit on the moped stopped in front of me.
Just come back with most of your limbs...and your dick. Please and thank you
He just walked up to me in the kitchen, pulled out his penis and stuck it in my sweatpants pocket.
It was probably cold. Sweatpants pockets are notoriously warm.
Omg. The news was on TV while I was giving him a bj...when the weatherman said its a beautiful start to December, he groaned and said it sure is.
This guy is walking around with a deer head on. Honestly what the fuck
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Update. A gay dude just told me I'm the most beautiful thing with a vagina he as ever seen. How should I feel about this?
Sent him a nude and I forgot to crop out the Jesus picture in the background. The Catholic guilt is too real.
I need a "no soliciting" sign for your dick
I would just like to say that I had morning sex today to the Hamilton soundtrack. So.
Block me from your phone tonight…I need to get laid tonight. But you've been being a douchebag. So not by you. But I might call you. So block me.
WHY WOULD I COCK BLOCK MYSELF???
Everytime after he came, he'd laugh uncontrolably for ten mintutes. He was sober..
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