There is no way when we get home that nothing will hapen
ur penis kinda felt like a vagina to me
After we finished he asked if I knew if it was a boy or girl. Diet. Starts. Now.
You spent about half an hour trying to convince me that mesh condoms were a good idea.
We got the idea to smoke under his bed because, and I quote, "it'd be just like going camping"
i sound like a 75 year old homeless man that has spent all his panhandling money on cigarettes since he was 12. that rough.
Also you know what's worse than drunk texting? Drunk leaving soup on your hot neighbor's porch.
I love shooting for the middle. Those girls never wake up well.
He put himself in the friend zone by calling me dude all night so I blew his friend. Judge me.
I probably won't go. Last time I got drunk with those guys I just started demanding people let me touch their beards.Then I mocked everyone who didn't have facial hair.
Also, I found this app that is basically a tamagochi from the 90's and now I finally have something to keep me busy at work!
Dude. Got a sore throat. Don't know if it's because my body is rejecting Michigan or cause of the bad ass blow job I gave last night
OK... But I need to shower first because I'm covered in stuff I definitely shouldn't have slept in
My sister and her gf showed up at my door with no pants on at 4 AM talking claiming its hot.
I think she lost me at about the point where the words “Ice Cream Enema” were spoken.
Randomize
