i am sorry to ask, but i need y0ur honest opinion . when i turn sideways to someone, does my nose stick out like a beak ?
could you grab mr moo while you're at his apt?
you brought your stuffed animal to a booty call?
Court Ordered Rehab!!! Do you think I'll need a swimsuit?
she was puking into the toilet drowning herself saying "its okay im a swimmer"
Ps I don't think it counts as being open minded if you didn't know he was missing a leg until you had already started making out.
you looked at me, pointed to a car and silently said "the elephant parks here".
I think that's the first time I've heard someone say "this is the safest way of doing things" while holding half a gallon of jagermeister
im still going. this is my new reality. also. dont take glowsticks in the bath. they explode. actually. do. it. its beautiful.
i dont think thats healthy man...
We bonded over blowjobs and stories of our childhoods. It was beautiful.
I picked up a guy that night wearing a onesie. I kicked Xmas' ass
New York City is dangerous when the only bars you go to are the ones that have 'open' in front
I just had to kick out lesbian wedding crashers. They literally wanted to punch me. I threatened to call the cops so they went outside and smoked a joint.
I want to ride his face like a jet ski
I once broke a mans heart just to get laid by a premature ejaculator
I may just have to resign myself to life in flats. He's a sexy little chipmunk that worships me.
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