Guess who's still drunk but on time to court to represent a DUI?
You are my hero
so either half this theatre is as stoned as me, or day daybreakers is hilarious
So tasty. Tasty like a vagina with ninjas in it
I feel like banging her is an expected thing. But banging you would be like getting a 36 on the ACT.
After grabbing my boob for a couple minutes he then decides to ask me if I was awake.
You do realize that we got a stripper to do the YMCA for us on the main stage... Right?
Nothing says walk of shame like leather pants in daylight
I'll reiterate. Best drinking game ever. I shall teach it to my children's children
drunk caitlyn doesn't know how to work gmail. so know an email has been sent to the entire campus with a picture of me naked eating a bagel attached.
No gay bar. My eyemake up looks like sex and Im using these dick daggers of mine tonight.
No more going to class sober.. Tried it for a day or two, its just not for me
So what are you going to be for halloween?
A woman sitting on her couch watching Hocus Pocus.
So apparently when I'm drunk and want water I pant like a dog and expect to have water given to me..
please don't forget about the bread in the toilet i am absolutely not dealing with that
when the cops came she just started yelling at them "Fuck the police! freedom of speech bitches!"
Randomize
