your drunk exhusband is tryin to get with my drunk exgirlfriend. i think its funny. if you still talk to him dont say anything.
we're not divorced.
I just saw what sperm look like swimming around. I'm not happy with what you've put in my stomach.
Just saw some guy walking down the street rapping about various types of pasta.
Beach body diet is off. Pizza hut worked its way back onto my google chrome top 8
I STRONGLY considered not bringing that guy home with me last night simply because I'd JUST changed my sheets that morning.
He needs to respect me before he can fuck me with cat ears on.
don't pay it forward
I eont pay shit forward. told a stranger to call an abulance and peaced
He wants me to have his first child. So that makes four gay men that've called dibs on my eggs.
Yo I get this girl alone in my room last night but she bounces cus she thought the full house poster was "weird"
She shoved her hand down my pants and held my cock for thirty minutes in the bar. It was like she was letting all the other females know I was hers.
The moment when you go to plug in someone else's phone in your car and your lube is in the way. Don't mind that it's just my center console car lube. Normal.
I just watched my mom pour beer into her vodka and drink it.
Actually we have similar relationship styles aka no relationship... it could work
Good new is, my parents are alive. Better news they will be in the hospital all weekend. Best news is im having a house party. All weekend.
what do you mean he's functionally heterosexual
Randomize
