I wouldn't call it sex. It's like when you put a plug in a socket half way. It's not all the way in but it still turns on the light.
I don't plan to be alive for 2010 so ima say this 12 hours early. Happy New Year bitches
before you smothered your pizza in mayo you blotted it with a napkin saying you were trying to watch your fat intake
Yes..we had amazing sex that I have a 50 percent chance of remembering.
You're breaking my vagina 4 times a day I reserve the right to know your middle name.
I told him "thank you for wearing a turtleneck yesterday, I no longer have a strong erg to have sex with you. " He is no longer speaking to me.
You left a trail of sequins from your dress incase we got lost
You were high and telling me you felt like Pinocchio and that fire was bad for wood.
I offered to buy ihop waffles for all the homeless people outside the metro. It was time to go to bed.
Need you on the dancefloor. Hungry and lonely.
ps. i have two very important words to sum up my night
which are?
library sex.
It will pretty much be equal to the feeling I had when you let me hold your dick while you were peeing, or when I graduated high school!
Well, for starters, you were growling and slurping beer from a puddle on the carpet. Let's all hope that was beer...
he's fucking insane. he's worse than me. is that even possible? I'm only with him because his dick is huge. I need Jesus.
Ha. Yeah that's all I found you with this morning. Butt ass naked w my robe across your lap and your arms thrown back in handcuff position.
Randomize
