Dude, don't freak out but the girl who stuck the hair brush in her ass is here. I can't look her in the eye!!
Who tried to make mustard cubes with the ice cube tray?
Sorry about teling your dad i'd have sex with him last night in front of your mom while i was drunk
you kept begging me not to tell anyone you had been a bat in another life
I'm on strict orders from her to keep sleeping with you until you give her a job next summer.
I lost a little respect for your boyfriend when I learned that he has a scar from a Cheerio.
Every time I think about it I can feel His toe in my mouth and I gag, I'm scarred for life.
She insisted on cleaning her room in the dark. 5 minutes in, she forgot what she was doing and started putting shirts on instead of hanging them up.
You lit a fire in my vagina no man can extinguish.
Ok thats it i need a list. Full names, nicknames, in which frats, with a photo, of all the guys youve hooked up with because three of the same guys is ridiculous
got a blowjob in the bar bathroom, got arrested for public intoxication, and found a big bag of weed on the ground on my walk home from the station. my friday night could have been a movie
I'm 99% sure I just flashed my dad with my vagina. So that's the new low now.
I'm twenty nine years old, now is not the time to start trying new drugs. I need a hedge fund...not another drug-induced hangover.
It's very rude to dive mouth-first into someone's crotch without knowing if their wife is cool with it.
I don't think he likes that I'm always sending him pictures of me in my bra but he needs to get it together
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