New low: just hacked my moms facebook
I don't know whether I should be pissed that there's glitter in my bed or proud that there's semen in there too.
I understand Curling. That high.
She's dressed as Musafa. How could this not be a good idea?
I've been here 20 minutes and some creepy old man told me he wanted to know what my insides felt like. I hate gay bars.
These 5 days benders will be the death of me. Just living and breathing is a struggle right now.
Apparently I was holding on to a pizza crust for hours last night.
I mean its cheating, but i figure i've made out wiht married chicks before so its like a nicotine patch, quitting by doing less and less each day
Dude, I fucked her last night with nothing but my bandana on. Like straight Indian chief style.
When I said 'i love my boyfriend' I didn't mean 'send me a picture of your penis'.
Nah, I was done when the Big Pun lookalike began to sob and tell me I looked like his ex...
On a scale of 1-10 how inappropriate is it for me to ask if Walgreens offers teacher discounts when purchasing a Plan B pill?
The bouncer said the club was at capacity we couldnt get in till ppl left all three of them pulled their tits out we got complimentary bottle service never under estimate women
I don't feel like that was meant as a compliment, but really still feels like one
Okay. Did I say I did anything unusual? Because I usually do weird stuff. Did I clean mirrors? My mirrors are really clean, and I think I remember having windex..
Randomize
