He said he was just looking at my pictures and was thinking about how he wanted to cut my hair..then dye it black and put platnium blonde extensions throughout it and layer my hair
if your dad confronts the dude you fucked about the background check he did on him, NOT GONNA GET A CALL BACK
Literally like 10 people walking in my building talking about how much they hate draco
well considering we left the bathroom with the mirror off the wall, a bloody nose, and clothes all messed up they assume im just a coke whore now..
I'm at your house, laying with your dog, eating taco meat, take your time.
It was a cry at the bar alone type of night, served with a side of passing out facedown in my nachos.
How am I supposed to stop smoking pot when girl scout cookies are being sold.
Dude he fell into my wall and left an imprint then decided to have sex with the door open. Vents carry noise pretty well
Just put an ad on Craigslist for a fake groom... I'm sure only non creepy sane people will respond to it
I'm so glad I was blacked out while I was going all exorcist in the bathroom. That's so not a memory I want.
I FINALLY GET TO MASTURBATE. SO EXCITED.
I came over to get dick...not to watch you vacuum....at 2 AM
I wanted to give everyone gifts as they left the house... So when your wondering where most of the christmas ornaments are I'm really sorry.
I woke up with a pube in my teeth...I'm disturbed cause we're both clean shaven
He saw my Halloween/ Costume closet and assumed I’m into cosplay. I’m going with it. What’s sexier, a cop or a nurse?
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